It's about time!!! .. Or perhaps, boobies?

It's most certainly the boobies. How could it be otherwise, really now?

Excitements! Planning to fly northwest to the San Juans tomorrow with my dear friend David in a rented plane from Boeing field. :) We'll plan to stay at his friends cabin on a tiny little island over the weekend, and take in the so-missed natures!

One fun trip up to the back-roads into Canada already this year... I'm excited to be out of town again so soon! And with a "friendly"-friend personally flying us out, this trip should be extra fun. Pics promised. This will be my first official flight out in a teeny-weeny winged-gravity monster. Yays!

I'm much up past my bedtime tonight, naughty me... but needed to report on the latest diet trends! (as they've been so incredibly insane the last year)...

I'm still very happily going the vegan route these days, save backyard chicken eggies. I have a wonderful lady very graciously supplying me, and I've personally met both of the lovely birdies... very happy chickedies who now grace my gluten-free breads with elasticity and rise! <3



I've recently (in the last 6 months) come to understand this gluten intolerance/allergy occurrence in very vivid personal detail.. I've developed more and more of an eye for this bizarre set of respiratory yuckies that so often creep up when I least expect them... (first so painfully recognized after porter/stout fulfillment's a few months back, and now more convincingly after most any pizza/burger/sandwich/or anything bread-like and late-night yummi'ed is consumed.. Hrrmp.)
The dreaded trip to the ol' doctors office for a blood test this Tuesday will hopefully reveal if I actually have the icky celiac disease diagnosis, or just a severe allergic response to everything in the world yummy. I'll update on that soon.

In the meantime... no tears, just veggie sushi!! My diet will be an ongoing battle, but I have faith that most all south-east Asian fare will get me by. :)



Capitol Hill and Seattle are amazingly proper in the "weird diet" management world, luckily... and living 50 feet from a Health food store has never felt quite so lovely. I have a wonderful farmers market a mere 6 blocks away every Sunday all summer long, and a plethora of close by dining-out options. I love my city oh so much!!!! It seems to equally love me back <3

To end... food porn! (of the animal-friendly variety of course.. at "In the Bowl" with David.. Mmmm's)

<3 you all so much! <3 <3 <3

Hello old Friend, Long time no see :)

Its been nearly a year now since I logged in and wrote to you here. It's good to be back, while with my return comes a major life shift.

Its odd how it always seems the pain is more likely to push me here than the good :) But, then again, If things are going relatively well, I guess I write my story out through positive social interaction, and the energy we exert in loving relationships. (A once-thriving threesome situation to be more accurate!!)

*sigh* Which leads me to this: I'm feeling quite confused and lonely lately.

I should note, that while I don't plan to take any past posts down from this site, I should (for other parties sake) make note that I'm no longer with my wonderful pink-haired vixen who I've come to love and adore for so long now.

She left me around a month and a half ago... literally telling me she was "Opting Out" of this relationship dynamic... from the three of us together in a triad situation.

My heart sunk that evening. Hearing those words. She had seemed dreadfully distant these last few weeks, but this? It was very unexpected.

I had to retreat to the bathroom then. My emotions were bubbling up inside me, but I was afraid to show them to her at this point. As dead as the world seemed to me those 45 mins shut into that little tomb... I couldn't help but remember the vibrant bathroom full of memories that I had come to associate.. complete with cute little butt slaps, and group showers, and carefree conversations. So many happy days.

Within a matter of minutes this colorful little room turned into an encapsulating funeral of sorts. I couldn't help but look around at all the adorable decor.. all the cute little odds and ends that I had come to smile at spontaneously over the last 2 years.. now slowly fading their magnificent colors to gray.

All lost. Never again. I couldn't help but repeat those words in my mind over and over again. Never again a random back-hug while we put our makeup on together, never again helping one another dress-up for the clubs, and never again a lighthearted shower conversation after we playfully romp around in the summer heat.

I couldn't make the tears stop.. they just kept flowing that evening... this emotion I rarely see. It poured like rain. All I could think to do was awkwardly pull my assigned bright orange toothbrush from it's little holder.. a nesting spot where it had called home aside theirs the last year, and I clutched it to my chest and shoved it down into my pocket. I was out. That stupid little toothbrush symbolizing much more than I wanted to grasp at the time.. an up-rooting.. what felt like the end.

He was there eventually. Consoling me. Telling me it was going to be okay. He wrote "I love you" on my hand when he came in to comfort me. It meant the world at that point. He still cared for me. He helped wipe away my tears. I eventually worked up the courage to walk outside into the living room, give her a hug, and leave that once-wonderful playground of an apartment and our joyous triad dream behind me.

This "Opting out" decision of hers hit me quite hard. She displayed the name of a new linked female partner of hers about 2 days later on a social-networking site.
My chest ached immeasurably seeing my name disappear.
It was a harsh reality seeing my name replaced with another so soon. There it was. Like I had never been there. I know my hurt around this change is completely irrational and unfair. Just because I can't move on as fast doesn't mean others aren't allowed to. But, all the same.. there it was. Official to the world... not just in my heart.

Fast forward about a month and a half.. and I'm much better now. I try not to be bitter.. or hurt, or angry. I know people change. I know life constantly morphs, and relationships with it. Letting go of my sweet wonderful girl emotionally has proved a really difficult task for me, but I can't forget for one second everything amazing about what we had together... it always makes me smile.

Far too many wonderful memories to be bitter about. She was a huge part of my blossoming social world since the spring of 08'... my new best friend, my cuddles, my lust and intense intimacy, and a good amount of my confidence the last 2 years of my existence. God, how I loved her. I'm so thankful to have shared what I did with such a wonderful person. As much as it hurts saying goodbye to it so abruptly.

With her, I truly started into the kink community in real life as we discovered the CSPC together outside the web, and I discovered countless new acquaintances through her friends, and all the time we spent together out meeting others. That meant the world to my shy reclusive ass. She helped open me up to an endless list of amazing opportunities.

There were so many countless casual nights spent lounging on that big old blue couch.. the three of us together.. just enjoying everyones company while doing our own thing. Being friends. Having that wonderful care-free companionship. Those are my fondest memories beside her. That and all those silly boardgames. :) Thinking about us shitting around casually.. doing the little things together, is the hardest kind of memory to part with.

While I'm still experiencing a great deal of emotion behind losing her, I know it will eventually take root into new opportunity and fade into time. But shit... it certainly is easier said than done. I guess I didn't quite realize just how much I had emotionally invested in her time, her trust, and her love and acceptance until one day it just seemed to "poof" out of existence.. and I suddenly found myself losing everything I love about her. Its true what they say.. that you never realize the magnitude of what you hold dear until it falls away.

I could write about her forever. The way the sunlight hit her beautiful eyes in the afternoon, her comforting smile, her soft touch, her beautiful heart. Our wonderful conversations we'd have late at night as we dozed off.. legs entwined together in bed. I loved every waking moment of our time together.. and while I'm accepting of her choice to move on, I'll always love her.

As my heart slowly mends itself, I know I'll pick my life back up.. and eventually find more amazing people to share my journey with. It's a long hard road, and if I ever find someone even half as amazing as her, it will be damn well worth every step.

Meanwhile, the other 3rd of our "ex-triad" (whom I now casually refer to as my boyfriend) still spends time with me off and on... we maintain a casual friendship... spending time with one-another about every week or so. He's been a wonderful friend, and an ear to my heart, and I love and appreciate him for putting up with my very somber self these past weeks.

I do hate that I'm so dramatic at times.. and I apologize.. especially now. Lately I've been nothing but one huge roller-coaster of emotional up and down and around and around again. (I luckily have my friends to thank for listening to all my venting and bitching and mindless babble through all hours of the day and night)<3

Again though, things are looking up, and I'm starting to see more light on the horizon... as some new friendships have come to blossom in my life recently. I'm excited for whats around the corner. The possibilities seem endless. I'll try my best to keep my heart open.

I care for you all so much. Everyone. I'm so blessed to have good friends around me who continually put up with my random BS, who lend an ear to my rants and raves, who always encourage me to do the right thing, and stick by me in the sticky spots. You make up my universe. You make me. I love you all forever. <3 More in time..

Cheap Thrills n' Nerdy Galore...

These last few months have been a relaxed bunch. Ive enjoyed these lazily... hence the lack of posts!! (all the more reason to punish me, right?) :p Ive had the opportunity to attend a lot of community activities alongside the absolutely stunning coming of spring... as well as Norwescon, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, and a few other socially conscious gatherings!

My love life is going very well :).. with Cheri and Chris still both very much at my side, and some fun adventures we've enjoyed together since the Holidays. They've been wonderful to me, and I feel like we continue to grow closer... on that note... They gave me a key!! So I can go bother them anytime I like now WooHOO!! :)

Now... to continue this bloggie with pictures I will continue in fragments... (as I always do, of course) ... we all know how spacey I can get :p










After my interesting holiday Season.. my girlie got me a wonderful set of inter-locking restraints to play in... :) an awesome connecting set that you can switch out wrist/neck/ect.. as well as an adjustable spreader bar... awesome! I have been awaiting my first spreader bar for a few years now :) She sure knows how to please me.... I mean, when she doesn't have her lovely head between my legs.. hehe.. Mmmm. :p ...and with that in mind... we all decided to join the CSPC! (Cheri had her work pay for hers... how cruel!!?? hehe..) Seattles unique "Center for Sex Positive Culture," ... oh yes. A unique facility of kink, workshops, and toys galore... I am definitely a fan. We have gone to watch and play together a few times so far. (even got tickled once!!!) :) I'm glad to finally feel connected to the local kink scene this way. Ive already met some fun folks! We still need to all go together with our toys in hand someday... so far we've been a tad on the shy side :p Its in the works.







With the warmer weather my folks I support and I have been venturing out more and more! We've been to some fun spots including countless trips to Pikes Place Market, a delicious and amazingly cheap trip to Veg Fest where we got to sample hundreds of meat-free alternative type de-lish goodies, and The Cherry Blossom Festival!

Ive continued my cooking... and going mostly vegetarian/vegan these days as convenience wills. Heres my tofu Laab, and a Sweet and Sour Tofu dish I did recently. :p Mmmm.







Thats it... you want to come over and eat at Julies apartment... yes you do! ;p Muahahah!

On the more nerdy of notes.. Nick.. (my nerdy accomplice) accompanied me to Norwescon again this year :) I think we both had a lot of fun sinking into the geekdom again and while getting our own room too! Woot! ... the room parties were much more decent this year, although not as memorable as Radcons. We got to see boobies though... wasn't all bad :p But yes.. with larger cons come cliques, and with cliques come invite-only parties :p Yadda Yadda...
But, on the brighter note, we got to see some yummy hotness at a fetish fashion show, listened to some uniquely odd speakers (weirdest animals, and nanotechnology were rad panels), and got to hear all about naughty in the BDSM/poly gatherings. Aww, familiar faces. :) All of the kinky/nerdy overlap still amazes me.

Goodness, what else??? Went to an eventful weekend at Seattle Green Festival also. This was my first time at an event like this being personally hyped-up on local sustainability. I am starting to take some of this greeny stuffs quite seriously :) At least I want to be! (I have, for the most part, eliminated the majority of my chain store/ big time conglomerate superstar spending dollars, and instead buy locally as much as I can.)

The Green Fest went into a lot of different facets of green... from local and livable, to waste control, to population control... (my personally favorite subject..hehe).. to the latest electric scooters. (OMG, I want one!) ...Most of all I loved being around folks who share my values! :)

Was a fun weekend. Sampled some local fare, shopped some fun local vendors, heard a great speaker from the American Free-Trade Coalition, heard about joining a local potluck to meet some similar minded in the area, gathered some gardening tips, found out there is a large sustainable/orgainic farm in the middle of the city of Seattle, and heard a little more about how the city is planning to urbanize/co-populate in the upcoming years with the upcoming light-rail soon in place, and the ever-increasing condo contractors looking to build up the city in the future. It'll be interesting seeing what Seattle has in store for us all in 10-15 years. :) I'm optimistic.






Eric and I have also been getting along better. Hes one of the beloved boys that moved here with me from Spokane. (or that I followed over, rather) We continue our Monday nights at Paddy Coynes every week... lately with the stunning Cherry Blossoms to gaze at around the Cascade district. I love how green its been here lately. It reminds me of how much I fucking love this city. Food, goth clubs, AND greenery. Win? Hells yes.

Anyways... Eric is someone special to me, and we've known each other for a damned long time... (2001, when I was sixteen??) Jesus fuck. Yeah.. its been a while. We were more like BF/GF back in old Spokane, but experienced harder times when I started openly expressing my poly side... and connected (and ever-increasing) kinky sides. (aren't these always connected?? :P)

When I first knew I needed multiple partners in my life I had a really shitty way of showing it. I called myself a swinger!!! Thought they were tantamount. (OUCH!) Yeah... negative pts for Julie. Took me a while to find what the fuck I needed... I was desperately seeking any sort of following while living back there in "no-kink-ville".. if I ever even did. Thank christ I moved to a larger more liberal area!! <3 See, back then I knew I had a poly ideal, but... like most vanillas, I didn't know there was a legitimate way to be poly with someone/s without stabbing others in the heart in the process. (Eric being a prime example) I guess Ive since wised up, and began acknowledging and expressing my feelings to partners in a more practical sense before anything serious arises. (i.e... poly doesn't involve being secret about some partners to other partners) Like duh right? Well, I was fucking 20 years old, okay? .. fuck you. :P We live, we learn the hard way, we move to Seattle. Since, Eric and I have been able to patch most rough spots up between us, but I think we both continue to struggle to understand each others position on life and love and such. (monogamy vs polyamory debates take up a fair share of our conversations over dark irish beer) :) Hey, at least there's a good way to argue!!



I guess he was the first official heart I ever broke.... but.. we are still pretty damn good friendlies.. so all is not at end :) I was never THAT fucking black and white. <3

BONUS POINTS: My heart has been broken multiple god damned times, so score on the ol' "Julies self-esteem/karma-o-meter!!!" BAM!BAMM! *sigh*

More soon... I hope... lol. I love you all.

A Holiday in Pictures...

Twas the night before Christmas, and Julie did bus... waaay the fuck to Spokane, in weather unjust.

Before leaving sweet Seattle, Julie did see.. a tickler, her sweethearts, and dirty presents for the tree.

Soon came the snowfall, to trap her crap car in... but all for the best, t'was spent warm in bed.. in sin. :D

Once in Spokane she shopped, ate lots, and visited her folks.
She drank good beer with Chinese, and found high school chums with smoke!

In the end she arrived home tired, eager for her sleepy...
who the fuck would've known, Xmas can be done so god-damned cheaply!

<3 <3 <3

Love you all!!! <3
HAPPY NAUGHTY HOLIDAYS!
xoxoxo

Fun times... noodle salad.

(it's a quote from Jack Nicholson in one of my favorite movies "As Good as It Gets")
:p

anywho...

Oh gosh, what a great weekend Ive had so far! I was invited out to the Mercury, (our local gothy hangout) by the couple Ive been seeing lately. We went later on in the evening and had fun with drinks and dancing, and I FINALLY, FINALLY got a membership there! Ive been guested in multiple times and never actually joined until now, so yay!

Anyhow, the real news comes from this couple. *smiles* I am really happy that she decided to invite me to come with them both to a reading on open/poly relationships.. she had mentioned it a few weeks back, and I was really happy that she wanted me to come along with them for this specifically! :) Its awesome having this shit TALKED about... out in the open.. especially in a public place.. with people that feel the same way I do. Even though we (meaning them and I) don't really have any official "status" per-say.. I'd definitely say we fit the criteria of an open relationship, so its nice being able to attend together :)

We had fun... after the club we all went back to their place and played together. I LOVE seeing them together so much... it sets such an erotic tone.. being there experiencing it all with them both .. so yummy... and honestly, they are both so fucking attractive I always feel like the luckiest girl when they invite me to play. <3

I got to sleep in bed with her again and we had this great girlie talk together. We chatted about all sorts of things for about an hour before we fell asleep. I feel like we connected well last night.. and I felt a little less intimidated than I usually do around her, which was good. Few! I was a super happy chick getting to have that girl time and giggles... honestly.. nothing beats girl cuddles... soft, smooth, warm and curvy... love it.

The next morning we went out to lunch at a bar downtown and then went to this great reading from Tristan Taormino (from her book "Opening Up.. a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships". Mmm.. I love that breath of fresh air sometimes! ...and... aww, poly folk. <3 There was this really nice warm nerdy intellectual and accepting feel in the room I haven't really felt since last March at Norwescon. Good stuff.

So yes! A very good weekend so far! I'm so so happy things have been better between the three of us lately, and also that she mentioned wanting to go on a date sometime soon.. with just the two of us girls :) yay!
I'm a happy Julie.

So gosh... something else to report on... I am still working nights! Ick. Its not an absolutely horrific schedule I guess, but dulling. On the plus side, I am also now officially working Monday-Friday! Wee. Its he first time since I started working with this company in 03' that they finally offered me this shift.. (believe me, you aren't always so lucky in health-care) .. so that will be a plus.

Also, Ive mentioned it to a few... I am planning to go over to Spokane for a few days for X-Mas. I still need to confirm how and when (I'm assuming I'll take a bus over like years past) .. but I would definitely like to see some old chums for the holidays. :)

Only other thing to report on is the dental news... lol. Yeah, I was bad and neglected going to the Dentist since moving over here to Seattle.. so need a little work done. Finally settled on a cuddly warm woman-only practice on Broadway. So yeah.. Tuesday morning will be the start of a nearly 700 dollar (after insurance mind you) fixer-upper session on the ol' mouth. *sigh* .. better late then never!

Let the holidays, and accompanying overtime begin! (you'd better believe I'm planning to hit a few places on black friday!) <3

xoxo

holy jesus I'm spontaneous

So, I just decided to bake an apple pie from scratch at 3am this morning. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!! It is pretty tasty too.. Nummers. Yay internet recipes!

This is a preemptive step in trying to cook food more often.. so friends have a gosh darn reason to want to come over more.. aside having sex with my cooter. :D

XoXo

An update on my October and NYC trip!

So, okay... yeah. Its been a fucking long time again. Oh well. Lots has happened, and I want to tell you all everything! :)
To start, I feel like I'm on much better terms with the only 2 women I really know here in Seattle. Ive blogged here in the past about one such gal and guy that basically included a LOT of drama and confusion. We've started talking a little more now. She joined one of the kink sites I'm on, and behold.. we started getting to know each other a little bit better there! :) Yay! I like me some kinky girl. Shes honestly so awesome and super smart and sexy and yeah.. a pain slut. I got a chance to spank her some a few weeks ago after getting back from my NYC trip. Mmm. I liked pulling her hair while fingering her little cunt. We had a very long awaited threesome together with her ex. *blissful sigh* .. I honestly just can't explain to you the amazing calm I get after being with a couple I like. I feel so complete afterward... its an amazing feeling. We all snuggled in bed afterward, and I got to nuzzle soft sweet girl neck all morning. Fucking glorious. They had me in the middle.. I was soo spoiled :p Anyways.. awesome... that shit will cheer me up for about a month!
As far as the other chicka.. well, she was the first I met when I moved over here.. and probably more kinky than I... unfortunately shes not into the girls a huge amount.. other than occasionally topping them.. (she had played with Jen when she first came over to visit) ..so anywho, initially it was more of me and them having a good time out together and her seeing others while letting me play with the hubby. That had ceased a while back and recently started again :) They are both Mercury club goers as well.. so I can't be more happy about that! (more people to dance with and get drunk with! ..its good foreplay) .. but yeah.. we are talking more now than we were and I'm again very happy :) I was kinda lost there for a while... it seemed I was kinda breaking up/causing trouble for couples left and right for a time... and, well.. I was starting to think maybe it was hopeless to try and do this whole poly/open bit.. but thank goodness its coming back together. I like everyone getting along! WEE!:D

Anywho, enough sappy shit. I also met a very nice gentleman on Gothic Personals recently who has been escorting me around to some very nice restaurants and clubs. I like that he is such a gentleman... and into wine...very smart too.. we danced together on the street after breakfast one day.. hes adorable :)
The one other fellow I met up with recently is a complete pervert.. lol.. and if he reads this blog... well, he will agree with me.. because he is.. a very cute and pervy fellow.. Ive been talking to him on yahoo since I lived in Spokane!! He just moved here so we finally met up. (hes into special education so he struck a good cord with me on first date.. still too new to say much) ;)

Onto other nifty things! I was in NYC for 7 days! WOO! I had a blast :) Got to meet Aarons possibly new roommate in the future Rebecca, and Seths new sexy as hell boy toy Matt. We did all sorts together... went to the Museum of Modern Art and saw awesome famousness, The NYC main Library branch, The American Museum of Natural History.. was HUGE, The NY Institute of Fashion and Technology and their "Gothic fashion" exhibit was fun, St Marks Place for alternative thrifting, times square for "Religulous," lots of fun boating in central park, lots of new yummy eats all over town including delish indian food for my birthday, Blood Manor (rated one of the best haunted houses in the US..was awesome!), the Staten Island ferry, and a few good drunk trips to the bar!! The boys were sober this time through though, so they were well behaved ;) I have a complete set of photos in an album on my myspace page.. so go look! (www.myspace.com/julietiger) We had fun!

Hmmm.. as for other things... unfortunately I am home sick right now with a cold. Its giving me plenty of time to catch up on online nerdery. Ive been chatting a bunch with Jen lately.. shes having the ride of her life right now with her top. They just sound so amazing together. Wow shes a lucky girl.. I am sooo Jealous :) You can find a linkie to her blog somewhere on my page I tink. Shes a Spanko! Love you sexy pants! <3 :D

I went out with the said couple on Halloween night too.. lots of drinking and naked lady watching ensued. We went to see a Seattle based circus group that does all sorts of crazy scantly-clad fire breathing, burlesque, and tricks with swords.. twas a good time. :) We were all dressed very cute!

Hmm... anything else to report... oh! The sweetheart of a tickler dude I met from the TMF for tickles once wants to totally do it again!! Only I think maybe this time we will try at my place b/c I have the handy restraints on the bed ;) ... lol.. instead of using his rock climbing gear like last time.. god was he a good cuddler!! I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Being held tight in someones arms while falling asleep is 2nd to none. Plus, he offered to cook me soup. Who fucking does that? SWEET! <3

Love you all :) <3

-Julie