Why does EVERY fucking person who writes for the “shout my abortion” campaign feel they need to lay down a long-winded excuse or description of circumstances leading up to their natural bodily processes needing medical intervention? Stop. No.
The parasitic cell division that occurs in ½ of the human population as a means of continued existence is a naturally occurring biological process.. something human bodies are designed solely to do as a function of our simply existing in the first place.. no different than our innate desire to eat or shit or cough or breathe.
Cell division is a necessary function of human bodies.. get over it. You owe zero excuses for your body functions. NO ONE should be stigmatizing pregnancy anymore than they might cancer or cleft palates… you know; those natural bodily processes people routinely DON’T provide any fucking excuses for... because we shouldn't have to.
I had my 'abortion' 110% purposefully premeditated. I did it for me and ONLY me because I can do whatever the flying fuck I want to my body.
I wanted to experience what the whole "preggers" thing felt like for a wk or so, mostly for sexual reasons (because you only live once, right?).. and maybe (it was a long shot maybe) get some bonus bigger/darker nips or areolas out of the fun. (sadly it was much too soon to do much on that note, but it did end up being a hell of a preggo/breeding fetish fantasy come true for this kinky minx!) Naturally the ultimate turn-on for any cunt in heat, ever, duh.
I just didn't want to experience it for very long, because pregnancy is quite dangerous and the idea of stomach parasites.. yuck; yeah, no.. hard limit on stomach-y alien growth things.
I’m privileged enough to be an anti-natalist.. and fully given the choice to decide, there's no ethical excuse I can personally come up with to birth a life. It would be cruel and unnecessary in my eyes; especially on an already overpopulated planet currently unable to sustain its current inhabitants even remotely ethically. But the idea of pregnancy is HOT.
I wanted to avoid any vacuum evacuation/curettage, so I decided to schedule my “medical” abortion as early as I possibly could; which ended up being pretty much the same time cells started dividing in my uterus. (ugh..shudder.. I just couldn't wait more than a few days... it's just too fucking creepy knowing something is growing in there)
I routinely use those cheapy (yet reliable!) dollar-store hCG tests every month (or anytime I have a late period) just for general peace of mind.. so i caught my tiny little growth within 1-2 weeks of it attaching to me. It ended up taking me roughly 14 months of (ovulating) vaginal sex with the boislut for my anxious sluttery to pay off too! (I really prefer anal both for feel and birth control.. but I had to get this out of my system)
My plan was to force a "thick period" via mifepristone/misoprostol so I could get a day of heavy cramps comfortably at home, gather my little cell blobby in a jar, take some family photos, and delight in personally “murdering” it; (as much as you can murder a centimeter-size cluster of dividing cells anyway) ...I just really wanted to be able to say I committed SOME form of baby murder... muhahahahah! (not many chances in life u know)
I also just wanted to see what the whole mysteriously medicalized guilted/shamed patriarchal bullshit process of navigating an 'abortion' in this state and country was really like, because I’m an Anthro/Comparative History major and I delight in investigating gendered cultural narratives like this one.. particularly one so insanely new.
Let me also note that I'm a privileged white 34 year old college-educated ape from Seattle who has pretty excellent (and free) access to healthcare through medicaid while studying at UW, so I was/am privileged as shit to be able to do this so casually and live/type to talk about it as such, while so many in the world still can't.
I learned a lot.. that the docs on UW campus have to refer students out to a specialty clinic bc they don’t carry/perform “medical” abortions on campus interestingly; that a day of excessively heavy cramping is kinda fun as a once-off feeling of supposed “motherhood” if you’re never having kiddos otherwise but want to feel like you still kinda got a little of the physical experience; and that the whole process (testing, referral, pill-popping and follow-up) was absolutely riddled with political, gendered, and lawful whiny medicalized bullshit (unsurprisingly) even in liberal as fuck Seattle.. (boy, we love policing womens bodies!)
I went into this adventure with a fair amount of medical knowledge; so I knew what to expect; but nothing prepares you for other women expecting you to be this sad, ashamed, afraid, alone, demolished creature.. acting as this helpless victim unsure of your options and how your body works… that was mind-opening to experience first-hand.
I’ve always felt very in control of my healthcare (having participated in numerous clinical studies on and off campus throughout the years; in random sampling and multiple medication phase trials, etc.) This experience definitely stood out as unique to me.
The MDs, ARNPs and nurses on my medical team (all women) at the referral clinic (“Cedar River” in the downtown Seattle medical/dental building), all shared this invisibilize bond.. a sense of shared strength and struggle.. both in my first visit (mifepristone necessarily taken in the presence of an aid visually in office) and during the follow-up ultrasound (2 weeks after my misoprostol dosing at home).
The rooms there were thick with a sense of collective triumph; I remember that solidarity well. What started as a curious decision to experience this procedure myself, ended as a unique way of seeing womens struggle; as 2 of the women waiting next to me looked like they didn’t have homes; and there perhaps as necessity.
I have similar women throughout civil rights history to thank for paving my path to equal quality healthcare options like this; notably those that never apologized and never felt even slightly at fault for taking responsibility for their bodies, their future, and their autonomy.. AND, lets not forget, their sexuality!! because I don't regret a damn second of this experience; my learning to use my reproductive organs for my own satisfaction! ;)