From what I've gathered in readings and research as an undergrad over the years in anthropology and cultural studies (history), (as well as my own sexual sluttery with over 200 people in my day) there are three drivers I've found routinely popping up in "gratifying" human sexual experience that happen OUTSIDE PHYSICAL FEELING.
These three I've come to know are understood psychologically and sociologically (or those we can test or poll regularly and then record) and seem to constantly be in play with each other in various (known famously) conceptualizations... ie Freudian, Maslow's hierarchies.. blah blah blah.. (mostly white institutionalized western thought which I tend to avoid using as meaningful or scientific)
The formation of these overlapping desires I've gathered are based on my accounts of human need relating back to sexual desire and fulfillment. They're variable, but always present in some form.
These are the 3 drivers in non-physical desire I've come up with (and hope to elaborate much more about in time as a senior):
1. Novelty - (whatever/whoever's newest or weirdest or foreign/unique gets us most excited)
2. Fantasy - (sexualized ideas/feelings we've built or associated in mind; coming to fruition)
3. Group Identity and group dynamism - (what identities we sexualize and/or how our groupings interact w other groupings; ie.. gender identity, concepts of family, sex as social tool)
I find we can usually figure out what excites us all (and why) when we account for these three overlapping variables... at least as far as I've found in my own research... why? ...we're a group animal with group animal needs :) Our sexual perceptions and need to procreate are always based on others and the way we perceive others when we're talking about anything outside physiology.